HUMOR Digest - 13 Sep 1997 to 14 Sep 1997

Date: Sat, 13 Sep 1997 03:46:51 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Secretaries

The pretty secretary wasn't saying much on the phone, just sitting there listening and smiling sweetly. Finally, she hung up the phone and said to the girl at the next desk, "That was my boyfriend. His boss must have walked in. He said he wanted to thank me for giving his firm a shot at my prime location."

The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enuff of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married.

As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam, flavored douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms. And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce ?"

She smiled slyly and replied, "The Druggist, silly."

There's a axiom in the business world that's too often overlooked by many. There's nothing that ends up being more expensive than a pretty secretary who's free for dinner.

Noticing that her boss' fly was open, the embarrassed secretary told him, "Your garage door is open."

The bewildered exec didn't know what she meant at first until she pointed. He quickly zipped up and said, "I hope you didn't see my super deluxe Cadillac."

"Nope." she replied. "Just an old pink Volkswagen with 2 flat tires."

The attractive secretary was inclined to brag way too much about her "dates" to suit the other women in the office.

One day, she was going on and on about a Texan who had treated her like a Queen all evening and at the end of the date, gave her 2 hundred dollar bills for "cab fare."

"Imagine that." came a voice from the other side of the file cabinets, "A hundred-and-eighty dollar tip."

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