HUMOR Digest - 14 Sep 1997 to 15 Sep 1997

Date: Sun, 14 Sep 1997 03:36:11 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Men at Golf

On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, Kurt stood on the first tee at his country club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding gown came running up to him, crying.

"You bastard !" she screamed in his face. "You lousy no-good God damn stinking bastard !"

"What's your problem Mattie ?" he calmly replied. "I distinctly told you only if it rained."

MacDermott and MacDuff were sitting in the clubhouse, in front of the fireplace on a raw, blustery day. The freezing rain was beating against the windows as their breads thawed out. Outside, the wind from the North Sea roared with gale force.

The pair were silent for a long time over their whiskeys. Finally, MacDermott spoke, "That was quite a round of golf. Same time next Saturday ?"

"Aye," MacDuff replied, "weather permitting."

If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

"Now what ?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

"Oh great !" NOW you tell me." said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

One golfer to another: First it was my marriage; now, the magic has gone out of my nine iron too.

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