HUMOR Digest - 24 Sep 1997 to 25 Sep 1997

Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 02:48:56 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Progress (?)

For those of you anxiously awaiting the year 2000, remember there's a down side too -- for example, Brigitte Bardot will be 70, Elizabeth Taylor will be 68 and Cheryl Tiegs will be 53 -- I mean even Madonna will be 42. For men of my generation, that's damn depressing.

There comes a time when we may just have too damn many phones in the house. I called my daughter the other day, and almost simultaneously three people answered the phone.

I heard three different voices say, "I've got it !" And then, three clicks as three people all hung up.

I was sitting at the dinner table the other nite staring into space, and Mrs. JimJr asked what was wrong.

I replied, "Just think, someone somewhere is putting my name on an e-mail spam list right now."

For those of you not up on the latest military hardware, the US Air Force has stopped testing its new anti-anti-missile-missile-missile.

It seems the damn thing keeps shooting itself down.

Here in rural Howard County, we still have some old fashioned grocery stores.

Well, almost. I noticed one the other week had posted a new sign on the door: "Caution ! Not an Automatic Door".

Can't you just see the Mothers of the future getting their kid ready for school ?

I mean what's a Mother for unless its to check the kid's retros, pack his drogue chute and check his oxygen supply.

Two men were waiting for a transit bus for quite some time.

One turned to the other and said, "Just think; even the MIR has been all the way around the Earth, and we're still standing here... waiting."

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