HUMOR Digest - 27 Sep 1997 to 28 Sep 1997

Date: Sat, 27 Sep 1997 04:00:26 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Spoken Word

Perhaps it's time we all raised the level of our English grammar while speaking, before no one understands a damn thing we're trying to say. Listed below are just a few suggestions:

"Go" - Revert to the former meaning of travel or depart. This habit of "So, I go... and then she goes..." is just absurd. If the person had really left the area, further conversation would not be possible w/o cell phones or two-way radios.

"Went" - (see above)

"Was like" - How many times have we heard someone say "And she was like..." Let me assure y'all the person in question remained human or some sub level there-of, at all times. A simple "she said" will do just fine, thank you very much.

"Hot to Trot" - Other than the long dead dance called the "Fox Trot", people do not trot; four legged animals do. Say what ya mean dammit. The person was sexually aroused.

"Don't breathe a word of this..." - Try as I might, I have been unable to reproduce human word sounds thru my nose. I seriously doubt you can either. So stick with, "Please keep this a secret..."

"Um" "Er" or "Uh" - If the person is not in fact dictating a letter to a scribe, vocal punctuation is totally unnecessary. On the other hand, if you've lost your train of thought, or don't know what to say next, simply pause. We'll wait.

"Ya Know ?" - As a matter of fact, NO ! I don't know, or I wouldn't even bother listening to you at all. I would really appreciate it if you and the rest of the sports stars explain what the hell ya mean.

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page