HUMOR Digest - 29 Sep 1997 to 30 Sep 1997

Date: Mon, 29 Sep 1997 04:07:55 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Published JimJr

Continuing with yesterday's "fan mail" theme, I decided to try my hand at the real world of jokes and see what would happen should I attempt to publish some jokes in print for profit:

I sent a religious collection of jokes to a well-known religious publication and they were summarily rejected. In analyzing why, I assumed it was due to the profanity, mild as it was, so I edited out any objectional word and resubmitted them with a note: "I have cut the profanity out of my jokes. I hope you can use them now."

I got a note back: "We do not wish to appear irreverent, but even if you cut the hell out of them, we still couldn't use them."

Hearing nothing from a magazine, I wrote them again asking them to return my material if they were not going to use it, as I had other irons in the fire.

Their prompt reply: "We have reviewed your jokes again and advise you to put them in with the other irons."

Being of English heritage, I even tried a publishing company in England and asked their advice on the best channel for marketing my jokes.

Their reply ? "The one channel we can conscientiously recommend for humor of this type would be the English Channel."

One company returned my material with a few sample pages of jokes they had recently published. The note explained: "As the cock said to the hens when he showed them an ostrich egg, 'I am not disparaging; I am not criticizing. I merely bring to your attention what is being done elsewhere'."

Another publisher said, "Although we cannot use your material at this time, we note your humor has everything: horror, depravity, profanity, madness and sex -- all handled with dignity and restraint."

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