HUMOR Digest - 5 Oct 1997 to 6 Oct 1997

Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 03:23:13 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Modern Military

A Marine Recruiter was attracting a crowd at a local college here explaining the benefits of the Reserves. A video was playing on the large screen TV near-by.

One student asked: "As the planes are bombing the shore, and the ships are shelling the coast, and those little boats are heading towards the beach in this video, who are those guys in the boats ?"

"Well, they're Marines, son." boasted the Sergeant proudly.

"Uh, that's what I thought." said the boy, who then turned and disappeared quickly into the crowd.

Part of any pilot's training is what's called "Survival Tactics". There's even a special section for "Jungle Survival."

Both the modern Air Force and Navy instruct pilots attending this course to attempt to crash in the summer months only, as they'll find more edible fruit about.

When my son was in the Air Force, Mrs JimJr and I visited quite often. On our first visit, we were allowed inside this top secret Communications Center, but everything in sight was covered up so we could look around everywhere -- Hell, even the toilet paper in the Men's room was disguised.

Anyway, at the exit, there's a sign above the door which reads:
                              "You have been exposed to Top Secret Material.
                              Please destroy yourself before leaving the building."

During that same visit, we went to the control tower, the radar installation, the flight line, and so on. We saw about everything that could be seen. I even knew how many planes, US and Russian, were airborne at that very moment (the "Cold War" was still on).

We stopped at the commissary for sodas and the Guard at the door said, "I'm sorry Sir, you'll need a military ID to enter."

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