HUMOR Digest - 7 Oct 1997 to 8 Oct 1997

Date: Tue, 7 Oct 1997 03:56:44 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Marriage: The Good Old Days

Any of you who have ever seen an old fashioned formal wedding portrait will notice that the man is seated, and the woman is standing alongside. While that may seem just the reverse of what it should be -- think about it.

He was probably too damn tired to stand, and she was too damn sore to sit down.

Back in the 60's when mate swapping was all the rage in the US, the Who's Who people were forced to issue a supplement to their book.

It was entitled "Whose Who's"

The wife appeared at the breakfast table resplendent in curlers and a worn bathrobe. The husband looked up from his newspaper and said, "Why can't you look like you did when we were first married ?"

"How can I ?" she snapped back. "I'm not pregnant !"

Hard as this may be to believe, back in the 60's white activists often got their hair styled in an "Afro" (large bush-style hairdo) to show support for civil rights.

One such fellow did so, and came home smiling, announcing that he'd also teased all his pubic hair into the same bushy style.

His wife who had had it with her spouses endless posturing sneered, "Great. Just great. Now during foreplay, I have to look for a needle in a haystack."

In the old days, farm widows had to be real careful with money, since most farmers didn't have much, if any, life insurance.

One savvy new widow, already well known for her "thrifty" ways was asked how she wanted the death notice to be printed. Knowing they charged by the word, she said "Just print: 'Mr. Musgrove died'."

The funeral director, somewhat taken aback by the brevity, said that he could get a few more words at the same price during a special the newspaper was offering.

She thought a minute, then said, "Mr. Musgrove died. Ford Pickup for sale."

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