HUMOR Digest - 15 Oct 1997 to 16 Oct 1997

Date: Wed, 15 Oct 1997 04:02:13 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Wild Blue Yonder Antics

At a remote airstrip near the Rio Cocaineo (which I believe is Spanish for "White River") two small military aircraft landed to refuel. While fuel was being pumped by hand from drums into his airplane, the senior officer was confronted by the distraught youngster piloting the second craft.

"I'm flying a bomb," he announced. "There's something wrong with the fuel line, and the cockpit's full of fumes. What shall I do ?"

The commander, knowing the airstrip, cut from the dense Brazilian jungles to help fight drug traffic, offered no repair facilities at all, replied calmly, "Don't smoke !"

Mother to departing Air Force recruit" "Now remember, the more stripes they have, the more you mind them."

During World War Two, an American flier was shot down and remained in a coma for two weeks before regaining consciousness in an English hospital. "Where am I ?" he asked.

"You're in jolly old England," replied his nurse with a pronounced cockney accent.

"Oh... did I come here to die ?" asked the flier.

"On no, dearie." said the nurse sympathetically, "You came here yesterdie."

I can well remember when I was awarded my pilot's wings in the Navy. As you can imagine, it's a time for celebration. In fact, I can still vividly recall Mrs JimJr's first words -- "Ouch !"

At the Air Defense Command, a recruit requested assignment to air combat training. Asked by the psychologist why he desired hazardous duty, the young man replied, "Well, it's the only area of the Air Force I know of where you can retreat at a thousand miles per hour."

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