HUMOR Digest - 18 Oct 1997 to 19 Oct 1997

Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 04:01:50 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Golf

Have y'all ever noticed how many golf jokes there are ? So how come you say I'm writing more ? Well, because both avid golfers as well as their game are a riot !

Take Dan for example. One of the best golfers I've even seen. But in the last couple of years, he's become complacent.

This past Spring, he teed-up his ball and announced confidently, "This looks like a drive and a putt to me." He swung the driver, tore up the sod and managed to drive the ball about 4 feet.

While he stood there dumbfounded, I walked over to his bag, got his putter and said, "Now for one HELL of a putt."

Golf addicts like my friend Walt can't stand it when the occasional player like me bests them on the course. Call it luck or whatever you like, but I had just made a really spectacular shot, and maybe bragged a hair or two too much.

As we walked towards the green, I began to analyze it yet again.

Walt mumbled, "Yeah -- great shot. Too bad you can't have it stuffed."

As two golfers sat drinking their Tequila Shooters in the club house of a Mato Grosso golf course, one pointed to a sign on the wall: "If your ball comes to rest in dangerous proximity to a crocodile, another ball may be dropped."

A golfer had made an awful shot and tore up a large piece of turf. He picked it up and looking about said, "What shall I do with this ?"

"If I were you," said the caddie, "I'd take it home to practice on."

A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right ?"

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