HUMOR Digest - 19 Oct 1997 to 20 Oct 1997

Date: Sun, 19 Oct 1997 04:06:20 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Written Word

Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs.

Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly. "Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs ?" she asked.

"Yeth." lisped the farmer.

Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."

Every college student is faced with which electives to take which will be the "easiest" and least boring. I thought I try Journalism 101; however, I just barely passed. It seems the instructor was a big fan of Joseph Pulitzer, founder of the School of Journalism.

During the first class the instructor said, "It was Joseph Pulitzer who declared accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman."

Unable to resist, I said "Well, that's not quite true Miss Riley, a newspaper can always print a retraction."

Anyone wantta guess how closely my homework and tests were graded from that first class on ?

I once followed the Administrator of the Maryland State Highway at a dinner function, who had rendered a few thousand remarks. He left his notes on the rostrum, and I noticed written in the margin beside one passage was this admonition to himself: "Weak point. Shout !"

A visiting professor from the US was amazed to see the auditorium filled to capacity for his speech on "Convex Sets and Inequalities" at The Technical Institute of Aeronautics in Sao Jose dos Campos.

A quick glance at the flier promoting his appearance removed all doubt though. According to the flier, he was supposed to speak on "Convicts, Sex and Inequalities".

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