HUMOR Digest - 26 Oct 1997 to 27 Oct 1997

Date: Sun, 26 Oct 1997 02:51:38 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Business World

In the business world, a Senior Manager is expected to know a little something about a lot of things. A Manager is expected to know everything about something. The secretaries however, are expected to know everything about everything.

We've all had some "unusual" bosses, I know, but I had one one time who was more than just a bit "eccentric". He had two signs on his desk:
          1) "In this Office, the word 'No' is a complete sentence"
          2) "Reduce Stress by being reasonable -- Do it my way"

Executive to employee: "I can't approve your expense account this month Smithers, but we'd like to buy the fiction rights to it."

Back before men were allowed anywhere near a delivery room, one executive, never one to waste time, took his paperwork with him to the waiting room in the hospital's Maternity Ward. As the other expectant Fathers paced, he sat there buried in paper.

Several hours later a Nurse appeared and spoke to him, "It's a boy, sir." she announced.

"Well !?!?" snapped the exec, without even looking up from his work, "Find out what he wants. I'm busy !"

In the days before PCs or terminals, large companies used wall charts for their graphics. One importer of Mate, a leaf used to make a tea-like drink, had a large map of South America where the leaf is grown. On the map were pins with strings and tags which resembled those on a tea bag. Each tag had a name on it.

The manager called a rep over, reached up to the map and grasped a pin near Porto Alegre. "Sam," he said, "I'm not going to fire you, but to illustrate the insecurity of your position around here, I'm going to loosen your pin a little."

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