HUMOR Digest - 28 Oct 1997 to 29 Oct 1997

Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997 03:38:31 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Columbia Maryland

The Yuppie arrived at his Columbia Maryland home in a cab. His wife was upset because he was obviously too drunk to drive and had wisely taken a cab, but... had left his car at BWI Airport.

When she began to question his behavior, he replied, "Well don't blame me. The Champagne Flight from Recife was stuck in a holding pattern over BWI for almost two hours."

Yuppette to husband in a fancy Columbia restaurant: "What was the point of getting the VISA Platinum Card if you're going to sit there and fret about the prices."

I was standing in line with a lot of other people in a real popular seafood carry-out in Columbia. At this store you could buy hard crabs either live or steamed. They're sold by size.

As I was standing there waiting my turn, my attention was drawn to the various containers of live crabs. I watched one climb out of the $12.00/dozen container after several tries, and land in the $15.00 per dozen bin.

At that point I noticed a lady also watching this one crab. I caught her attention and said, "Only in Columbia."

Understanding exactly what I meant, she shook her head in agreement.

It was late afternoon at the Columbia Mall, crowded with shoppers, when a distraught looking lil' Yuppette dashed to a phone and called a cab. Then she stood there outside until the taxi drove up.

"Where to lady ?" the driver asked.

"Just keep driving around the parking lot." she answered. "I'm afraid I've lost my car again."

Overheard at a Park and Ride in Columbia: "My family doesn't need consumer education -- they're natural born consumers."

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