HUMOR Digest - 30 Oct 1997 to 31 Oct 1997

Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 03:57:15 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sexploits

The tavern braggart was once again relating his sexual exploits. "You know," he droned on, "I once banged the cutest lil' Oriental stewardess right on the plane during an over-night flight. Hey ! I really put on a sustained performance that time. In fact, I was so damn good, they oughta make a movie about it."

"I think they already did." replied the bartender. "Wasn't that the one called 'Thirty Seconds over Tokyo' ?"

After the pickup couple retired to the hotel in Rio de Janeiro, the man confessed, "I'm afraid it's been a while since I've had sex. I may be a little rusty."

"Oh great !" said the girl, who spoke and understood only some English, took him a little too literally: "You waken up with the smile, and I with the lockjaw."

The two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he had never.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse then ?"

There's a rumor going around Hollywood that a group of porn movie makers are going to combine assets and form a studio of their own. The name they're considering is "21st Century Fux".

"I finally made it with that girl from Georgia." said the student to his buddy. "In fact, we did it right in her parents' living room after they went to sleep. But I didn't understand her fixation on exotic fruit at all. As I was about to climax, all she said was 'Kumquat... Kumquat... Kumquat...'"

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