HUMOR Digest - 3 Nov 1997 to 4 Nov 1997

Date: Mon, 3 Nov 1997 05:48:56 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Wives

Wives are funny creatures. Guys, did you ever watch your wife vacuum ? If the machine doesn't pick something up, she'll bend over, pick up the offending material with her hand, look at it, then place it back on the floor; as if to give the vacuum one last chance to pick it up.

My own wife, Mrs JimJr puts on all these creams, oils and lotions every night. I'm glad she takes care of herself. But the other night, I rolled over to hug her, and she slid right out of bed.

The Yuppette wife is different than all others though. Once at a pool in Columbia Maryland this lil' Yuppette got a cramp and had to be rescued by the Life Guard.

Once safely out of the pool, she goes over to her friends and asks, "What does one tip for a thing like this ?"

Contrary to popular belief though most Yuppettes do indeed know the value of a dollar. The other day a Yuppette from Columbia had her car break down. The tow truck driver charged her $ 65.00 to take the car to the garage less than 10 miles away.

When she told her husband that evening, he said that the driver had taken advantage of her.

She said, "I thought so. But I made him earn it. I kept the brakes on all the way."

We've all been lost and depended on our wives to act as navigator. Well, not long ago, Mrs JimJr, her face buried in a map book, said "Turn here !"

I did, and didn't notice the "No Left Turn" sign.

Just my luck, a policeman was near-by and stopped me. I tried to explain that we were lost and I was following my wife's directions.

He issued me a ticket for "Driving Under the Influence of Wife."

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