HUMOR Digest - 12 Nov 1997 to 13 Nov 1997

Date: Wed, 12 Nov 1997 03:40:38 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: New and Improved

With safe sex being the norm these days, the sales of plain old birth control pills have slumped. One company seeking to make inroads into the teenage market decided to put out a new product that's a combination breakfast and birth control drink.

They're gonna call it "Ovumteen".

Stirring up a lot of interest in certain winter sports circles this year is a new ski complex in wide open Nevada.

The new resort is to be known as "Slalom and Gomorrah".

For those of you who remember the infamous madame Heidi Fleiss; well, there's gonna be a "Madame Heidi" doll on the shelves at the upscale department stores this Christmas.

You buy the doll, but you don't really play with it. What she does is promptly gets you another doll to play with.

Organizers of the first "National Orgasm Week" held this year were very disappointed with the results obtained.

It seems at least three-quarters of the women polled just pretended to celebrate it.

The US Naval Academy, still stinging from various sex scandals, tried imposing fines for Midshipmen who entered a female's room uninvited.

It was $20 for a first offense, $60 for the second and $180 for the third violation. Academy officials were disappointed at the results, so this year, they started offering season passes.

Trying to stay in tune with the times (but still not getting it), the Moral Majority tried launching a hard rock group to preach to kids on the evils of sex thru the lyrics in their songs.

Their name -- "Heavy Meddle".

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