HUMOR Digest - 26 Nov 1997 to 27 Nov 1997

Date: Wed, 26 Nov 1997 03:30:28 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving

All of us in the US are celebrating Thanksgiving. However, don't forget the day after will be here sooner than ya like. This year, I'll forewarn y'all in advance.

                         You Can Over-do Thanksgiving if...

* You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses

* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy

* Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian

* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat !

* The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland

* You get grass stains on your butt after a walk, but never sat down

* Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist

* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail

* You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday

* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy

* You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games

* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000"

* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn

* Your wife wears a life jacket at nite in your water bed

* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice

* You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty

* It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas

* Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this

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