HUMOR Digest - 6 Dec 1997 to 7 Dec 1997

Date: Sat, 6 Dec 1997 03:56:49 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Old Time Religion

The evangelist was giving one of his fire and brimstone sermons against all the evils, sins and temptations of the world, covering everything from murder to gambling. One middle-aged woman sat in the pew swaying and rocking, and frequently punctuating the evangelist's words with a loud "Amen, Brother, Amen !"

Spurred on by her encouragements, he began to exhort the evils of alcohol and drugs. The lady even began humming in-between the chorus of her "Amen's".

"And now," shouted the sweating evangelist, "I come to the worse sin of all. Those of you who have fallen into the temptations of the flesh. Yes, Brothers and Sisters, I'm talkin' 'bout SEX now. You, most of all will have to forego your loose morals and mend your ways !"

The woman stopped her swaying, and with an angry look on her face said, "Now the old fool's taken to meddlin' instead of just preachin'."

To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on some daily. One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago.

After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms. He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Laffitte."

"You've found her Father." smiled the lady.

"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.

"That's correct Father, he surely did... but I didn't."

The Priest was asked by a Mother to counsel her daughter, as the girl was just running wild, instead of planning for the future and a family. "Peggy Sue," he said, "it's about time you started thinking about a husband."

"Already got me a husband." the girl replied. "Mary Hendley's."

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