HUMOR Digest - 31 Dec 1997 to 1 Jan 1998

Date: Wed, 31 Dec 1997 03:54:58 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore Yuppies

Color me dense, because it never occurred to me that people in other parts of the world may not know what a Yuppie/Yuppette is.

Well, let's put it this way, if Yuppyism were a religion, all of the congregation would be fanatics. It would be a New Age spiritualism sect with shallow mysticism cloaking reptilian morals, vicious corruption, naked ambition and ruthless greed.

They would only have two short commandments:
         1) Acquire
         2) Do others

Lil' Bobby's Mother had been away a week at a N.O.W. convention and when she returned to her Columbia Maryland home, she was anxious to hear about his week.

"Well, one night we had a thunderstorm, and I was scared, so Daddy and me slept together." her son said.

"Bobby !" said the boy's French Au Pair, "Don't you mean 'Daddy and I ?'"

"No !" replied Bobby. "That was Thursday, I'm talking about Monday night."

Charles was taking his out-of-town buddy Clyde on a walking tour of Columbia. Clyde saw a good-looking girl and asked Charles if he knew her.

"Yes, that's Jacqueline -- one hundred and twenty dollars."

A little further along, Clyde spotted an even more stunning girl and asked if Charles happened to know her also.

"Yes, that Rosalynn -- one hundred and eighty dollars."

After the process was repeated twice more, Clyde remarked, "Good Heavens ! Aren't there any respectable women in Columbia ?"

"Of course !" replied Charles, highly offended. "But you couldn't afford them either."

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