HUMOR Digest - 2 Feb 1998 to 3 Feb 1998

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 04:16:58 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: It's What You Say Too !

In Howard County, Traffic Policemen generally patrol the same area each day. One day an officer, normally assigned to Yuppie City (aka Columbia), was sent to the southern end of the County. It's, shall we say, a less "polished" area.

Stopping his first violator, he said "Good Morning sir, I'm Officer [Smith] and I would like to see your driving permit in reference to a possible violation of Article 21-707, probable Stop Sign infraction.

The burly man in the car looked at the Policeman, and said, "Huh ?"

Repeating his lil' speech, the officer was met with the same response. Then he said, "Listen pea brain, you ran that Stop Sign back there, now give me your license before I drag your sorry butt out of that bucket of bolts and find it myself."

The motorist nodded and reached for his wallet. "Oh. Well Hell... Sure. Why didn't ya say so in the first place ?"

The farmer had requested and got signs posted which said "Cattle Crossing", but still the motorists sped past his ranch at speeds too great for comfort.

Finally, a dramatic improvement was noted when he posted some signs of his own: "Caution: the steer you save may be next summer's T-Bone".

I guess we all like to brag about our home states, but a lot of Texans over-do it. Once, during a visit to Texas, I listened politely to an hour discourse on the beauty of this ranch which seemed more like a desert than an oasis to me.

Thinking to change the subject, I asked the owner what was that large bird that had just scurried by. He replied, "Why, that's a Bird of Paradise son."

I said, "Long way from home, ain't it ?"

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