HUMOR Digest - 8 Feb 1998 to 9 Feb 1998

Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 05:11:34 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Military Life

Back in the 60's, the US had a series of radar sites known as the "Distant Early Warning" system or "DEW" line. One Airman stationed there asked his buddy at home to arrange a date for him when he got leave.

The buddy did so, but told the girl that she'd better be careful, as the guy had been working on the DEW line for 6 months.

She replied, "No problem. I've been working on my 'DON'T line' for six years."

On leave from Vietnam during the war, the Marine was watching the strip show. He smiled at the girls then said, "Here at least there's a definite front and a definite rear."

While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got umpteen shots, whether you needed them or not. The carrier pilot in front of me as we passed thru the line asked for a drink of water after receiving what seemed to be at least a dozen different needles.

The Corpsman asked if he was dizzy.

"No, not at all." he replied. "I just wantta see if I'm still water-tight."

The Navy Captain looked the crew over and said, "Men before anything more is said, I would like to clear up one thing. This isn't MY ship, this is YOUR ship."

From deep in the ranks came a voice: "Great ! Hey guys ! Let's sell the damn thing."

At Dyess Air Force Base, the Airman on the switchboard in the Comm Center answered the "Military Affiliated Radio System" (MARS) with: "MARS Station, Airman [Smith] speaking."

There was as a gasp on the other end, then a woman's voice said, "Good Heavens! I must have mis-dialed. I didn't even know we had people stationed on Mars now anyway." And she hung up.

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