HUMOR Digest - 9 Feb 1998 to 10 Feb 1998

Date: Mon, 9 Feb 1998 03:28:27 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore HighJinx @ State Highway

We've all met them -- the super pious. I had a secretary ask me if I'd made my peace with God.

"Tara," I replied, "I don't know that we've ever quarreled."

At a dinner party to introduce the new Administrator of the Maryland State Highway, everybody's new boss went on and on extolling his own virtues, forward-thinking, the modernization he'd put in place, the downsizing, equipment upgrades, roadway improvements he had both instituted and planned for the future while he was with the Pennsylvania Dept of Transportation.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he opened the floor for questions.

"Sir," said a voice from the back of the room (who shall remain nameless), "perhaps you'd also tell us why they fired you."

While with the State Highway, I sat on the Accident Review Board. Its function was to determine fault for all vehicle accidents and if necessary, institute discipline.

When the Administrator wrecked his State owned car, the majority of the Board wanted to vote that the other driver was drunk.

"Drunk ?" I said. "How in the world do y'all figure that ?"

"Well Jimmy, he had to be." said one Deputy Chief Engineer. "He was driving a tree."

One of the unwritten functions of a Resident Maintenance Engineer is to obtain as much manpower and equipment for his county as he can, by any means necessary.

I had submitted a proposal for several new pieces of expensive equipment with very little justification. The Budget Director called to tell me it was denied and asked if I thought him a fool.

"Why no George, not at all." I said. "Of course... I could be totally wrong."

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