HUMOR Digest - 19 Feb 1998 to 20 Feb 1998

Date: Thu, 19 Feb 1998 02:43:59 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: JimJr's Navy

During my first month of real combat flying, I shot down six planes, took out a comm center and a fuel dump.

This may have had a lot to do with my being taken out of combat training in San Diego and reassigned to the weather observation squadron in Pensacola.

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "Alright ! All you God damn dummies fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow.

I smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh sir ?"

One day I somehow lost my sidearm, I had no idea how, but they made me pay for it anyway. They said I'd have to pay for anything I lost.

At least then I understood the Naval tradition of the Captain going down with the ship.

When we were finally allowed to call home, it was a real treat to speak to the family again. I told my Mother that the only thing that really bothered me a lot was the Flight Instructor telling me that I was dumb, ugly and possibly the worst excuse for a pilot he'd ever seen.

She said, "Why in Heaven's name would he say things such as that. That's terrible !"

I told her, "That's nothing, I'd hate to tell ya what he said about you !"

When I was in the Navy, women were assigned to the WAVES. When we finally got leave after three months, our Captain told the WAVE Captain she'd better keep her girls under lock and key.

The WAVE Captain, tapping her temple, replied, "Don't worry. My girls have it up here !"

Our Captain said, "It doesn't matter where they have it. Once those throttle jocks start looking, they'll find it."

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