HUMOR Digest - 2 Apr 1998 to 3 Apr 1998

Date: Thu, 2 Apr 1998 03:25:16 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Babies

There are so many outdated quaint expressions concerning both a new baby and an expectant Mother. One time in Church a Lady noticed Mrs JimJr's "condition" and said, "Oh, I see you're expecting a 'little stranger'."

I replied, "Well, yeah. But I'm sure we'll all get to know each other soon enuff."

I can remember when our daughter Sandy started teething. Mrs JimJr was wondering if that was the problem as to her crying. I said, "Well, let me check." As I was about to stick my finger in Sandy's mouth and feel her gums.

Mrs JimJr recoiled in horror and said, "Wait ! Boil it first."

My ancestry is English and there's even a town over there where my roots can be traced called "Warrington" (my middle name).

In keeping with the family tradition, we used to call JimJr Jr the "Prince of Wails" when he was a baby.

What never made much sense to me though is why people without any children and those with children both feel sorry for each other.

A man stood in front of the glass window looking at all the new babies in Saint Agnes Hospital. As Father O'Hara happened by, he stopped; asked the man which was his, & if it was his firstborn.

The man pointed out his new son, then said, "No Father, this is my fifth child."

The Father smiled and replied, "Oh, excellent. And what Parish do you attend my son ?"

"None Father." the man responded cooly. "I've been a Lutheran all of my life."

The Father feigned a smile then moved away. As he passed the Nurse's Station, he whispered, "Keep an eye on that fellow over by the Nursery. There's a good chance he's a sex fiend."

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