HUMOR Digest - 12 Apr 1998 to 13 Apr 1998

Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1998 03:11:34 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Texas and Texans

Every Member Update: Week 1: +102    Week 2: +103    (new members)

Friend of mine just moved to Texas and the house she bought has one of those typical Texas kitchens -- seven rooms.

Had a friend visiting from Texas and he had read so many of my Columbia Maryland jokes he said he just had to see the place and meet some of the infamous Yuppettes I write about.

Well, I arranged to take him to a party and the very first Yuppette he met said, "How much did you say your name was ?"

Bruno, my displaced Texan friend, claims he knows a guy "back home" who was so sentimental, he had his kid's nursery bronzed.

For a while, even Texas fell on hard times, but they refused to concede they too were experiencing a recession.

One Texan merely explained, "We're having a lean boom year."

Big ? I'll say Texas is big -- and the western part of the State is so flat too.

You can look further than you can see !

In fact, I never knew how big Texas really was until I tried to unfold a map of the State in the car.

Pity the men in Texas who are under 6 feet tall.

I mean, what the hell's the sense of being from Texas if you're gonna be small.

One Texan named his ranch the "Running Lazy Z Double Circle Crossing Trails Ranch".

He damn near went outta business his first year though -- only 1/3 of the herd survived the branding.

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