HUMOR Digest - 1 May 1998 to 2 May 1998

Date: Fri, 1 May 1998 04:08:01 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: "She" Put-Downs

* She always walks the straight and narrow...
   Mainly because that's the way she's built

* She doesn't care who she makes love to...
   Mainly because she's an equal-opportunity enjoyer

* She must be very capable...
   I mean, she's worked under so many men

* She even made Phi Beta Kappa --
   one by one

* She hates sex in the movies...
   Tried it once and the seat folded up

* I'm not saying she lacks appeal...
   But she couldn't get jumped if she was playing checkers

* She never makes the same mistake twice...
   Somehow, she always manages to find new ones

* She's a true flower of womanhood...
   A blooming idiot

* Actually she's not a complete loss...
   She can always be used as a horrible example

* She has one bad habit that gives her away though...
   She likes to nip at a stranger's heels

* If she ever wanted to let it all hang out...
   It'd take at least 2-3 trips

* I'm not saying she's ugly...
   But she turned 3 cannibals into vegetarians

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