HUMOR Digest - 2 May 1998 to 3 May 1998

Date: Sat, 2 May 1998 02:56:15 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: JimJr's Musings

Final Report: During the month of April, we obtained 371 new subscribers.
                        A special thanks to all who helped in this effort.

* Since retirement, I've considered becoming a sex fiend...
   Now that I'm 55 however, I can't pass the physical

* Fellows, it's often easier to just give in to your wife...
   I mean, what's your word against thousands of hers

* The next time, words pass between you and your wife...
   Make sure she's not about to throw a book at ya

* Priests should really be allowed to marry...
   Until then, they'll never know what hell is really like

* The Yuppies in Columbia just don't get Catholicism...
    Most take their lawyers to confession

* They should call the Clinton WhiteHouse the "New Left"...
   I mean, they're so far from being right about anything

* I once went to a "conscience raising" session...
   Damn near got a double hernia

* No one ever had to tell me not to drink and drive...
   I mean, I sure don't wantta spill any

* Next time you see someone "acting stupid"...
   Consider the possibility it might be the real thing

* God is amazing. Ancient man had no idea we'd need glasses...
   And yet look where God put our ears for when we had to

* When you dine out and all the waiters are wearing gloves...
   Ever wonder what's in the food that they're afraid of

* They say it's better to give than to receive...
    Maybe -- depends mostly on the gift I would think

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