HUMOR Digest - 14 May 1998 to 15 May 1998

Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 03:46:59 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Aging

What's all this crap about slowing down when ya get older ?

Next month, I'll be 56, and I guarantee y'all I can do just about everything I did when I was but 54.

An old farmer out my way celebrated his 105th birthday. He was asked by a reported to what he attributed his long life. He answered that he had given up whiskey, women and song.

"And I give you a lot of credit sir." said the reporter. "How many years ago was that ?"

"Oh let me see now..." the farmer pondered. "I guess about 2-3 years now."

So many of the older farmers out here still wear baseball caps.

They have so many wrinkles though, they have to screw them on.

My one neighbor, Mrs. Musgrove won't reveal her age to anyone. But there are a few clues -- like she has an autographed Bible.

She has the only Maryland driver's license where the picture on it was done by Rembrandt.

Her friends always tell her she looks like a million though.
I agree -- every damn year of it too !

Everybody thinks they're a stand-up comic these days.

When my son, JimJr Jr got married last year, he said I had to go to a special store for a fitting, since I needed an orthopedic tuxedo.

My daughter Sandy's no better.

She asked if I wanted a rocking chair with an electric starter for my birthday this year.

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