HUMOR Digest - 19 May 1998 to 20 May 1998

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 04:07:05 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Military

A lot of people wonder how they came up with the design for the military's camouflage outfits. Easy -- they patterned it after Army and Marine food.

If you think I'm kidding about the food, ask anyone who's ever been in the Marines or the Army. About the worst punishment you could be given while in Boot Camp was "seconds" at the Mess Hall.

Those camouflage outfits are pretty effective though.
One solider fainted while in formation and they couldn't find him for 2 days.

One recruit found that all of the uniforms he was issued fit him perfectly.
He began to worry that he was deformed.

Pity the French solider who wins their Croix de Guerre these days. With AIDS everywhere, they can't find a General who'll make the award and kiss the solider during the ceremony.

If you think it's really true that "old soldiers fade away" --
ask any of them to put on their old Army uniforms.

The Marine aboard ship was beyond seasick. A Navy Corpsman said, "Can I get you something ?"

The young Marine replied, "How about an island ?"

During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"

The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."

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