HUMOR Digest - 27 May 1998 to 28 May 1998

Date: Wed, 27 May 1998 03:36:05 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Cars

* My son, JimJr Jr, fancies himself a comedian.
   Last year for my birthday, he gave me bifocal headlights for my Mazda.

* With cars getting smaller and smaller, these days a man has to look left,
   right and down before crossing the street.

* In the US these days, a car company is considered successful
   if they sell more cars than they recall.

* I went thru one of those one minute car washes the other day.
   A Yuppie in front of me tipped the crew to hurry it up.

* I had a car phone for a while, but had to have it taken out.
   The phone bill was so high, I couldn't afford to buy any gas.

* You've all seen these rubber strips that help prevent nicks from people
   opening their car doors. The way Mrs JimJr drives, I wish they made
   bumper pads to put all the way around the car.

* Then there was the Yuppette who took her Beamer into the shop.
   The mechanic told her she had a short circuit.
   She replied, "I don't care what it costs. Lengthen it !"

* They've just come out with yet another new Japanese sports car.
   It has a low-cut grille, shapely fenders, long, sleek lines and padded bumpers.
   They brought one into Baltimore City the other day,
   and 3 Chevies chased it into an alley.

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