HUMOR Digest - 29 May 1998 to 30 May 1998

Date: Fri, 29 May 1998 03:54:17 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Kids

When I was a coach for Little League Baseball, I used about the same opening speech every year: "We have to use sportsmanship at all times. There will be no yelling at the umpires or other players and no being poor losers. Do y'all understand ?"

At that point the kids would generally nod, then I'd add, "Good ! Now please go home and explain all that to your parents."

We used to hide our daughter's Christmas presents where she'd never find them --

in the linen closet next to the vacuum cleaner.

It's easy to tell when a kid has matured.

They stop asking where they came from and don't want to tell ya where they're going.

If Mrs JimJr and I would have waited until we could "afford" to have children, we'd be having kids now instead of Grandchildren.

I've often wondered if any of the Hippies from the 60's imposed rules on their kids -- like, "Be home from the orgy at 11:00".

My Granddaughter Christina came home from school the other day worn to a frazzle.

Seems the computers went down, and she had to write all afternoon.

I've noticed the quickest way to get any kid's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

During a rather heated argument when he was a teen, our son, JimJr Jr said, "I didn't ask to be born."

I replied, "Good thing you didn't too. 'Cause the answer would have been 'no'."

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