HUMOR Digest - 30 May 1998 to 31 May 1998

Date: Sat, 30 May 1998 05:06:38 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Military

I joined the Navy for three reasons:
     1) I wanted to do something to pay back this country
     2) I knew it would help me physically & morally
     3) I would probably have been drafted anyway

During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly solider shoots about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said, "How'd you learn to shoot like that ? Have you ever been in combat before ?"

"Well suh," drawled the boy, "To be honest, this is my first public war."

One Marine was a total foul-up. The Company Commander tried putting him on KP, giving him extra duty and finally restricting him to the Base. Nothing worked.

Finally, in desperation, the Commander called the boy's Mother.

One of the worst jobs in any military unit is being a cook.

I mean think about it -- they have enemies on both sides of any war.

Regardless of what you may see in the movies, not every pilot in the Navy is a "Top Gun".

In fact, the only medal one Naval Aviator I know could qualify for would be for extreme caution under cover.

Being versed in the martial arts has some hazards.

One karate expert joined the Army and knocked himself out cold for four hours giving his first salute.

The sentry, doing his duty, issued the standard "Halt ! Who goes there ?"

A voice out of the dark replied, "You wouldn't know me, I just got here today."

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