HUMOR Digest - 4 Jun 1998 to 5 Jun 1998

Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 03:52:11 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Time to Diet ?

I heard on the news this week that one-third of all Americans should go on a diet at once, & that over half of US citizens are overweight. I thought maybe some diet advice would help.

First, how do you know if you need to diet. Well, if it takes you three trips to go thru a turnstile -- maybe ya oughta diet.  Remember...  your bath tub is not supposed to be form fitting.

I knew it was time for a diet myself when I started putting mayonnaise on my aspirins.

Unfortunately, the first thing that most people lose on any diet is their patience.

Just think though, if half of the population goes on a diet,
then America can truly be called a "melting pot".

The second day of a diet is always a lot easier than the first;
By the second day, most people are off the diet.

Exercise is important too. With diet & lots of exercise,
you'll soon find those extra pounds from your stomach all behind you.

Be careful of sugar substitutes. I had a friend who overused substitute sweeteners.
She died of artificial diabetes.

Also, watch out for that "Drinking Man's Diet".
I went on that for 2 weeks once, and all I lost was 10 days.

The banana-coconut-wine diet doesn't work too well either.
You'll lose some weight, but ya keep falling out of the trees you climb.

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