HUMOR Digest - 9 Jun 1998 to 10 Jun 1998

Date: Tue, 9 Jun 1998 03:45:23 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: See the USA

Went to Philadelphia once. It wasn't hard to see what they need most there --
a good detour to bypass the town entirely.

Every once in a while you hear about a real dry spell in Texas. I always thought the stories exaggerated until I got a birthday card last week. The stamp was attached with a staple.

A neighbor of mine took off with his family to see the country. When he returned, I asked how he enjoyed the vacation.

"Jimmy," he replied, "have you ever spent three weeks in a mini-van with those you thought you loved ?"

Any of you ever been to Las Vegas ? Some hot-shot arrives in his private jet, puts on an outfit that costs 2 or 3 thousand dollars, works with 80 musicians, eight back-up singers, and opens his show with "I Gotta Be Me !"

New Englanders are known for their dry wit and logic. Once in Martha's Vineyard a hotel clerk asked me if I wanted a room with a shower or a tub. I asked what the difference was.

He replied, "Well sir, in a tub, you can sit down."

A few years ago Mrs JimJr and I vacationed at a rather fancy hotel on Hilton Head Island, an ocean resort in South Carolina.

After the bellboy carried the luggage up to our room, I found that I had nothing smaller than a hundred dollar bill, having chosen not to carry a lot of smaller bills en route. I asked him if he had any change, so that I could properly tip.

He replied, with a hint of scorn, "Mr Moore, HERE, a hundred dollar bill IS change."

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