HUMOR Digest - 9 Aug 1998 to 10 Aug 1998

Date: Sun, 9 Aug 1998 03:13:37 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Speeches/Speaking

Personally, I think all speeches should be patterned after a woman's skirt --
just long enuff to cover the subject, but short enuff to make it interesting.

I don't know how many of you have been subjected to long-winded speeches either at work or socially. It just seems to me most speakers are a lot like gamblers -- they just don't have enuff sense to quit while they're ahead.

When I was working at the Maryland State Highway I had a boss named Gail who was known to ramble on and on. During one long discourse he said, "You all know I'm a man of few words."

I said, "Yes, but you keep the ones you do know awful busy."

Charlie Fega, a politician here running for re-election to the County Council, concluded a speech and opened the floor for any questions. One lady asked him if he got his tan playing golf.

"Of course not !" he replied. "I've been far too busy for any golf campaigning for re-election with these open-air forums."

"Well then," she smirked, "your speeches are way too long."

President Clinton'll be remembered for his long-winded speeches (among other things). I really don't know what women see in the man, unless his "pillow talk" is far more brief.

Anyway, to support my contention that the man just doesn't know when to shut-up, this year while he gave the "State-of-the-Union" message, the state of the Union changed dramatically.

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