HUMOR Digest - 16 Aug 1998 to 17 Aug 1998

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 05:19:25 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Aging, Not so Gracefully

Not sure how many of you heard about the terrible fire in a posh Miami hotel last week. A passer-by is being hailed as a hero.

In two trips, he was able to save 7 mink coats, 4 walkers & 16 canes.

I'll give Mrs JimJr credit though for trying to keep-up with the times.

I saw her reading "The Joy of Sex" the other day, and then that afternoon, she began knitting a whip.

Fellow I know isn't sure what he's going to do. He needs a transplant but the doctor told him he was unable to perform the operation.

"What's the matter ?" I asked. "Too risky ?"

"Nope !" he replied. "Seems they no longer make the parts."

I had a chance the other week to talk to one of the guys I used to work with. He asked how my retirement was going. I told him, "Great ! I get up early and play on the InterNet, then at dawn, I go for a two mile jog."

"What do you do in the afternoon ?" he asked.

"Well... the second mile, then I take a nap." I replied.

A lot of farmers in Howard County live to a ripe old age. There was an article in the local paper recently that a girl of twenty was suing a farmer of 92 for breach of promise.

After I read the item I couldn't help thinking to myself, "What the hell could a man 92 years old promise a 20 year old girl."

When the reporter got the story of this 92 year old man and his legal problems with this 20 year old, he said, "I'd love to come back and interview you again when you're 100."

"Don't see why not." the old farmer replied. "You look plenty healthy enuff to me."

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