HUMOR Digest - 19 Aug 1998 to 20 Aug 1998

Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1998 03:35:50 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Police...

The City of Salisbury on the eastern shore of Maryland got a new Police Chief.

His first job was to arrest the old Chief of Police.

A policeman in Baltimore was asked the easiest way of breaking up a large crowd.

"Simple." he replied. "Just start to take up a collection for Our Daily Bread."
(a local soup kitchen)

Sergeant: "Did you give the prisoner the third degree ?"

Officer: "Yeah, we browbeat him, asking every question we could."

Sergeant: "And did you get a confession ?"

Officer: "Not exactly. All he said was 'Yes Dear' and dozed off."

A man went to the Police Station to talk to the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no !" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying for years."

A Howard County Policeman had just stopped a Yuppie for speeding. After losing his plea for a break, the Yuppie began to berate the officer louder and louder.

"I wish you would lower your voice." the officer said, "Towards the end of my shift, loud noises tend to make me trigger happy."

The SouthWestern Police Station in Baltimore City had been quiet most of the week. Things were so slow, the detectives were playing cards to pass the time.

"What a week !" grumbled one of the officers. "No fights, not one theft, no riots, no murders, no car-jackings -- no nothin'."

"Rest easy Sam," said the Captain, "things'll break soon. You just gotta have a lil' faith in human nature."

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