HUMOR Digest - 27 Aug 1998 to 28 Aug 1998

Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1998 03:31:22 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Human Animal

Other cultures not-withstanding, the US has pretty much always been youth orientated. With careful grooming, fashionable clothes and a light heart, one can take years off their actual calendar age.

Tell ya what though. No matter how hard ya try, you still can't fool a long flight of stairs.

The lil' Columbia Maryland Yuppette was shopping in an upscale pet center. "I want a dog of which I can be proud." she told the salesman. "Does that one have a good pedigree ?"

"Miss," declared the clerk, "if she could speak, she wouldn't talk to either one of us."

The FBI had received a tip concerning a possible bombing of a casino in Las Vegas. Two Agents, while on stake-out, noticed a colleague from the CIA.

"Look at Ferguson over there," said the one Agent, "he's gambling as if there's no tomorrow."

"Hmmm..." replied the second Agent, "maybe he knows something."

The Principal welcomed all the new teachers to the Junior High School. "Time and experience will be your best teacher." he told them. "But one quick word of advice. You're bound to have at least one student who's eager to argue. Your first impulse will be to silence them. But before you do so, be careful. He or she may the only one in the entire class who's listening."

Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon.

A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. A puppy quickly matures into a dog; a mongrel pup develops into a cur.

Yet oddly enuff, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these.

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