HUMOR Digest - 28 Aug 1998 to 29 Aug 1998

Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1998 03:50:28 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sex in the 90's

I'm not sure how they're gonna make out, but a manufacturer is test marketing a brand new unisex personal hygiene deodorant -- it's called "The Pit and the Pendulum".

Even now, so many parents are concerned about sex education in the schools. What they're not considering though is that if the kids learn it the way they learn all the other subjects, they still won't know how to "do it" anyway.

A Howard County Policeman broke-up a young couple in the act of love-making on a pathway in Columbia. The girl berated the officer long and loud with a barrage of obscenities. The boy was silent through-out the confrontation.

The officer arrested them both anyway. The girl was charged with disorderly conduct, the boy with having an offensive person on his weapon.

The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires."

"Sorry John." she replied. "I'm not ready to settle down yet. And besides, you can't buy my love, but if the price is right, I might see my way clear to rent you some."

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you ?"

"Yes." whispered the girl, her head bowed.

"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax ?" the lawyer continued.

"Oh no." she replied, "I'm pretty sure he had one of them real fancy Mazdas."

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