HUMOR Digest - 29 Aug 1998 to 30 Aug 1998

Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1998 03:59:55 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Life in the USA

When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, and no pollution. The women did all the work while the men hunted or fished all day.

Ever since then, a bunch of idiotic do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place.

New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check.

The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I take a check from you ? I don't even know you !"

Because of budgetary constraints, the City of Baltimore in Maryland has stopped the tradition of giving people a "Key to the City."

These days, they just send a guy over and he shows ya how to pick the lock.

Las Vegas is a wild town. An hour after I had checked into a hotel, the house detective knocked on the door and said, "Do you have a woman in there ?"

I told him I didn't, so he threw one in.

In a lot of Southern towns, the influence of the Baptist Church is felt in many different walks of life. For example, sexual relations between two unmarried adults is illegal.

It seems they felt it might lead to dancing.

California is said to have over a hundred thousand palms. The way I see it though, about 16 or so of them are trees, the rest seem to be maitre d's, parking lot attendants, waiters, bell boys, doormen...

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