HUMOR Digest - 31 Aug 1998 to 1 Sep 1998

Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 04:23:41 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Integrity

Personally, I think it's hypocrisy to make unwanted guests feel at home.

If they wanted to feel at home, they'd have stayed there in the first place.

Visitor: "Do you like playing your trombone dear ? That certainly was an interesting piece."

Child: "No, not really, but Mommie makes me do it when she wants our 'company' to leave
          and go home."

Father to Midshipman Son:
"I'll say one thing for you boy. You're definitely following the Naval Academy's "Code of Honor". With the grades you get, you couldn't possibly be cheating."

My neighbor told me that the Giant grocery store had given her a phony twenty-dollar bill when she cashed a check there.

I asked her to let me see it. She said she couldn't, she passed it at the drug store.

An Arkansas family with nine sons all voted Democratic at every election -- all except one boy. A friend asked the Father to explain this fall from grace.

The boy's Father said, "I've always tried to bring them boys up right, but Johnny, the ornery cuss, got to readin' and..."

Several weeks after receiving an $ 11,200 check in payment from her insurance company for missing jewelry, an elderly woman found the missing items in her closet.

She wrote the insurance company: "I didn't think it was right to keep both the jewelry and the money, so you'll be pleased to know I've made a donation in your name to the American Red Cross."

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