HUMOR Digest - 1 Sep 1998 to 2 Sep 1998

Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1998 03:23:33 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: School Daze

I remember once in elementary school, I was home sick for over a week.

My teacher sent my Mother a "Thank-you" note.

A boy was reprimanded for not writing a book report on a Dickens novel.

He said, "I couldn't help it. We couldn't get the video."

The teacher was surprised to get a note from a Mother the very first day of school, since her child was present. All it said was: "Please excuse Paul for being. It was his Father's fault."

Lil' Bradley came home complaining after his first day of school. "I'm not going back tomorrow. I can't read yet. I can't write yet either, and the teacher won't let me talk."

During the afternoon session, a new and very tired kindergarten teacher was leading a class of five-year-olds in some strenuous exercises. As she tapped out the rhythm she chanted: "Come on, wear yourselves out ! Come on, wear yourselves out !"

A teacher asked her class to make a list of who they thought were the greatest Americans. One little boy seemed to be having a lot of trouble. She asked if he needed help, and he replied, "No, I just can't decide who should be playing third base."

The teacher was instructing her students on how she expected them to behave. "If you have to go to the bathroom, please raise two fingers." She demonstrated holding her arm straight up.

From the back of the room came a tiny voice: "I don't see how that's going to help anything."

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