HUMOR Digest - 2 Sep 1998 to 3 Sep 1998

Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1998 04:31:30 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Army Life

A solider, leaving an Army Base, was overheard telling a friend, "This has gotta be love at first sight. It's only an 8 hour pass."

The Sergeant was explaining some important points to a squad of recruits on the rifle range. "This type of bullet will penetrate 2' of solid wood," he said, "so remember to keep your heads down."

An applicant for a job listed his last occupation as "US Army." He gave his title as "Sergeant" and duties as "Operation Desert Storm." Under "reason for leaving" he printed, "Won the war."

As the regiment moved out, the crowd cheered. One soldier asked another, "Who are all those cheering people ?"

The veteran answered, "They're the ones who aren't going."

The instructor wanted to impress upon the soldiers how horrific any combat could become using nuclear weapons. He told the class, "The next war will be over in a matter of hours."

One recruit whispered to a buddy, "Good. We'll get the rest of the day off then."

A personnel clerk at Fort Meade received a document, initialed it and passed it on to the Duty Officer. It promptly came back with a note attached: "This document didn't concern you. Erase your initials and initial the erasure."

In spite of regulations, the enlisted man fell in love with an Army Nurse with the rank of Captain. One morning, following a lover's quarrel, they passed each other without a sign of recognition.

A Lieutenant witnessed the scene and stopped the non-com. "That woman is an officer and you didn't even salute her."

"Salute hell." the solider whined. "We're not even speaking !"

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