HUMOR Digest - 3 Sep 1998 to 4 Sep 1998

Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1998 03:35:38 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Doctor - Patient

Doctor: "You're coughing easier today."

Patient: "No wonder. I practiced all night."

A doctor told a woman patient well into her 70's to get undressed.

"OK, I'll do it, but I want to warn you, you're playing with fire."

Doctor: "Mrs Klien, I'm afraid your husband can never work again."

Mrs Klien: "I'll tell him. That'll cheer him up for sure !"

A new patient was being examined by a doctor. According to her husband, she seemed to be suffering from amnesia. The doctor asked, "Have you ever had this before ?"

I guess once a lawyer always a lawyer. The doctor broke the sad news to his lawyer patient that the man had approximately 3 months to live.

The lawyer pondered a moment and asked, "Consecutively ?"

One of the side benefits of the reunification of Germany was that for German Measles prior to their reuniting, doctors always had to give their patients two shots -- East and West.

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said: "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me either doc." said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.

The man asked, "How often do I take these."

"Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're not for you." replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."

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