HUMOR Digest - 7 Sep 1998 to 8 Sep 1998

Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1998 03:44:18 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Cultural Differences - II

Then there was the Israeli pilot who shot down eighteen enemy planes --
six with missiles, and twelve in pledges.

Two rebels in the Congo were sitting in a bar when news came of yet more hostilities up north. One said, "It's a terrible war."

The other soldier downed his beer and replied, "Yes, but it's better than no war at all."

President Clinton, stymied with his peace efforts in the Middle East told his cabinet:
"I'll tell you this -- there'd be no trouble at all in the Middle East if the Arabs and the Jews started acting like the good Christians they're supposed to be."

In Australia a kangaroo was hit by a car and rushed to a Vet. The next morning, the Vet was making his rounds and asked his assistant, "Was this 'roo brought here to die ?"

"No Doctor." she replied. "He was brought here yesterdie."

During the days of the British Raj, a missionary went among the Indians and tried to convert them to Christianity. He explained how Heaven would belong to the faithful.

One Indian said, "Your Heaven can't be all that good."

The missionary explained again why it would indeed be wonderful.

The Indian replied, "Then why haven't the British taken it over ?"

The Parish Priest in Northern Ireland was extremely busy when Patrick McVey came for confession. "Look, you IRA people are always in here. You're not a problem unless you've committed murder since the last time. You haven't, have you ?"

McVey shook his head and started out. At the door, he met Dennis McNulty and said, "You might as well go back home. He's only hearing murder cases today."

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