HUMOR Digest - 10 Sep 1998 to 11 Sep 1998

Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 03:36:30 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Twists and Turns

Clinton, on a stop in Arkansas this week, told a crowd, "There are over a hundred jails in this state, and I'm proud to say that no member of my family has ever been in one of them."

A voice from the back said, "And which one is that ?"

Some people just seem to have a lot of luck. A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races.

I asked him about this once and he replied, "Well... they won't let me shuffle the horses."

Speaking of gamblers (I was). At a Las Vegas gambler's funeral, the Minister, trying to console the grieving family, said "Sam's not dead, he only sleeps."

At that, a man jumped up in the back of the funeral parlor and said, "I got a thousand at 10 to 1 sez he's dead."

In Columbia Maryland, work is progressing on one of the most beautiful chapels I've ever seen. Since there was no sign at the site, I stopped and asked the Superintendent what denomination it was being built for.

He said, "None at the moment, a group of investors are building it on speculation."

We had a couple over to dinner the other night and the woman was complaining about her male boss. Mrs JimJr, trying to console her, said simply, "When it comes to women, all men become idiots, when they're the boss."

I piped up and said, "Hey, now wait just minute there, I was a boss."

Tilting her head in my direction, Mrs JimJr said to the lady, "See ???"

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