HUMOR Digest - 15 Sep 1998 to 16 Sep 1998

Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1998 04:19:24 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Things You'll Never Hear

Cindy Crawford: "Well... Looks aren't everything."

Yassar Arafat: "Discrimination ? I'll give you discrimination !
                         Israel has over 5 million Jews; we don't have any."

Madonna: "I didn't have a bit of trouble with the singing in the movie,
                  but they did have to dub in most of the acting."

Mayor Smoke (Baltimore): "There are so many muggers around that you can't
                                            walk 5 blocks without leaving the scene of a crime."

William Clinton: "Any President who lies to the American people should resign."
                           (Oh wait ! He did say that -- never mind)

Steven Spielberg: "I just finished my new horror film. It's so bloody,
                             it's sure to get a 'Type A' rating."

Kenneth Starr: "I only look at the newspapers every other day.
                        That way, I don't have to read any of the denials."

Boris Yeltsin: "I never worry about waking up to a revolution.
                      If I wake up, there's no revolution."

Sharon Stone: "Today's movies are not only bigger than life,
                        they're dirtier than life too."

Clinton's Lawyers: "Most politicians don't believe a word of what they say.
                              We're amazed that y'all do."

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