HUMOR Digest - 19 Sep 1998 to 20 Sep 1998

Date: Sat, 19 Sep 1998 05:25:43 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Crime in the USA

I really don't know what we're going to put the criminals today.

I mean the prisons, the White House and Congress are all full.

I saw where a burglar alarm company in the City is moving to the suburbs because they keep getting robbed.

A couple I know from Columbia had two children. The first was a former member of Clinton's Cabinet; the other one's in jail too.

I think I may be onto the root of the problem with crime in the US. We have about ten million or so laws designed to enforce the Ten Commandments.

Did y'all hear about the Mafia's new policy on warning people.

No more dead fish on the doorstep. I mean this is the 90's after all.

Now, they just send "get-well" cards a month before they're needed.

A petty crook's kid brings his report card for his Father to sign. The Father looked at the poor grades and sighed saying, "Aren't you old enough yet to forge my name ?"

Had a visitor from New York who insisted on going to the Inner Harbor in Baltimore late at nite. He returned several hours later and said he felt right at home -- he was mugged.

The Mayor of Baltimore keeps insisting that the media are grossly exaggerating the amount of crime in the City.

That may well be, but I notice in the City's elementary schools this year, 4 recesses a day are scheduled so the kids can talk to their parole officers.

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