HUMOR Digest - 6 Oct 1998 to 7 Oct 1998

Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1998 03:09:00 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Police

The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again."

"Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."

Officer: "And you still insist you're innocent, in spite of the fact that we have six witnesses to the crime ?"

Offender: "If it's witnesses you want, I can produce seventy people who didn't see me steal the stuff."

Offender: "You can't arrest me for this. I didn't do anything wrong & I'm a man with the courage of my convictions."

Officer: "Yes, I see that. According to your record, you've had six of them already."

The Sergeant was berating the recruit for not following proper procedure. "... And if you're ever in doubt, all you have to do is consult the departmental manual."

"But that's just it Sarge." the rookie officer responded. "I'm never in doubt."

It was the Grandparents' day to baby-sit their 3-year-old Granddaughter. The Grandmother, concerned for the child's safety, locked the porch gate in spite of the child's howls of indignation.

Later, the Grandfather, a wise old Police Sergeant, did the same thing to bar the lil' girl from the kitchen. This time though, there were no cries of protest.

Drawing on his experience in calming criminals, he told the lil' girl he was using the gate to keep the Grandmother from bothering them while they watched TV & Mom-Mom cooked dinner.

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