HUMOR Digest - 10 Oct 1998 to 11 Oct 1998

Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1998 03:18:46 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Mrs JimJr: the Anti-Chef

Every time I do a joke on Mrs JimJr's "cooking" (if y'all will pardon the expression)
I get a ton of mail accusing me of gross exaggeration. OK... consider these facts:

Granted, Mrs JimJr is not the best cook in Glenelg,
but we're the only family I know with Mylanta on tap.

Her idea of a "cold boiled ham" is a ham boiled in cold water.

She once tried to make a sponge cake,
but claimed the sponges kept soaking up all the icing.

Now I'm now saying that she makes heavy pancakes,
but we have the only bow-legged stove in Glenelg.

When she first got her microwave, I thought our meals would be a lot quicker.

She insists however on letting the thing pre-heat first.

Last nite I complained of having beef stew again for dinner.

Mrs JimJr became highly irate and wanted to know why I hadn't said anything on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.

I asked once why I couldn't have a "surprise" for dinner.

She complied by soaking off all the labels on the cans and frozen food packages.

I sat down the other evening to a meal obviously burnt.

Mrs JimJr said, "Now before you go and get all upset, this wasn't my fault at all. They had a fire at the carry-out."

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