HUMOR Digest - 11 Oct 1998 to 12 Oct 1998

Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1998 03:22:09 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Say What ?

Administrative Note:
The article posted to the UGA Humor List on October 8th titled "The Conversation" (Roger and Elaine) was originally written by Dave Barry, a columnist for The Miami Herald.

Away for a seminar once in New Jersey, I ordered the breakfast special at the hotel where I was staying. The waitress brought it and asked if there would be anything else.

Flirting a little, I replied, "Just some kind words for a man far away from home."

She leaned over, put her hand on my shoulder, and whispered in my ear, "Don't eat the breakfast special."

The vain lil' Yuppette was talking with a plastic surgeon concerning her upcoming operation. "I'd like to be the most beautiful woman in Columbia." she said.

"I see." replied the surgeon. "Do you want me to change your face completely ?"

"Oh NO!" she said, repulsed. "I want everyone to know who it is that's now so beautiful."

To me, there's nothing better for dinner than a big, juicy steak. I had such a steak at a restaurant recently in Columbia.

Returning the following week, I was disappointed to receive a steak more suited for the kiddy menu. I signaled the waiter and when he came over I said, "Last week when I was here, I got a steak fit for a King, and now look at this puny thang."

He replied, "Yes, I know. But last week you were seated by the window looking out onto the Mall."

Recently when Mrs JimJr and I were babysitting our daughter's three, they all wanted to watch a movie on cable about ancient Rome. During a scene where Christians were being thrown to the lions, Sandy's youngest, Libby, grabbed my arm & started crying.

Fearing it was too violent a scene, I assured her that the people were actors and it was only a movie.

She managed to say between sobs, "But that lil' lion in the corner isn't getting any Christians to eat at all !!!"

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